we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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