You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
