you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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