Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
