We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
