saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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