your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
