i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
