i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
