If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize