I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Randomize
