tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize