why didn't you poke me back
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize