Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
