Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
