guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
