so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
They have beer where we have blood.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
