i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
So much rum. So many feels.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
