I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
