I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
