that's what penises do
they tell lies.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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