Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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