if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
