i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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