it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
