Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
