DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize