found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
