Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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