He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
