No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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