its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
