dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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