why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
