U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
