all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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