I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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