If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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