on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
