Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wish my penis had an off switch
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize