This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
