she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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