Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
