THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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