yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
cat food counts as protein by the way
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize