please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
