Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He has the fingertips of a God
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