The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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