Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize