You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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