cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize