You smell like stripper and shame
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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