forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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