She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize