last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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