Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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